RELATIONSHIPS
We're busting the myths, the rumours and the downright lies about all things sex, consent, relationships while spreading a little positivity along the way!
Respectful Relationships Module
The Guild has created this module to raise awareness of respectful relationships, sexual consent and bystander interventions to make campus a safe place for everyone. This one-hour program is compulsory for all students to complete through Curtin’s online learning platform to ensure that everyone in the Curtin community is on the same page about consent and respect.
Learn more about Respectful Relationships
Report a sexual assault or sexual harassment incident
If you are aware of, or have experienced an incident of sexual assault or harassment, see something that shouldn’t be happening, or feel unsafe, please report it.
The Safer Community Team can be reached directly on +61 8 9266 4444, or through Curtin's online form. You can make an anonymous report if you choose. All reports are treated seriously and confidentially.
Curtin’s Safer Community Team provides a range of services to keep you safe on campus, including:
- 24/7 safety presence and availability
- Security escort services
- Mechanical assistance
Find out more about these services.
Free Condoms!
Thanks to the WA AIDS Council, Guild Reception has FREE CONDOMS for students to have!
Pop in and grab some today at Guild Reception, Building 106F.
Resources
Sexual Health Quarters (SHQ)
Sexual health and wellbeing for all Western Australians.
shq.org.au
WA AIDS Council
A non-government organisation committed to the HIV response in Western Australia.
waaids.com
Magenta
Magenta and SWOPWA provide services to support and promote the health and safety of people involved in the sex industry.
magenta.org.au
SECCA
A non-profit organisation designed to support people with disabilities, in their efforts to learn about human relationships, sexuality and sexual health.
secca.org.au
QLife
Australia-wide anonymous, LGBTI peer support and referral for people wanting to talk about a range of issues including sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships.
qlife.org.au
Guild Equity Departments
The Guild's Equity Departments are here to get the best outcome for students. Your representatives are here to support you and make sure Curtin is a safe environment for all.
Get involved online or find them in the Equity Space (Guild Precinct, Building 106F).
Guild Reps
Q&As
Your anonymous Sex, Consent and Relationships questions answered by our team of experts from Sexual Health Quarters (SHQ), WA AIDS Council, Magenta, SECCA and the Guild's Queer Department.
There's so much pressure to feel 'pleasure'. How do I relax?
The best way to enjoy yourself during sex is to work out what feels good for you (often through masturbation), and communicating with your partner about things you enjoy and feel comfortable with! Pleasure doesn't always have to mean an orgasm either.
I'm really stressed about uni and assignments and don't want to have sex. What should I do?
No-one should ever feel forced or pressure to have sex of any kind - in fact, it's against the law. Our sexual needs and wants can change over time depending on other things going on in our lives, and this is totally okay!
Do I have to use condoms?
Using condoms and dams are the best way to protect yourself and your partner/s from STIs, blood-borne viruses (and pregnancy!)
Are there different types of consent?
Speaking generally, consent is pretty clear cut – it should be a clear yes, or a clear no. If you’re ever not super sure whether consent is there, then we need to continue to communicate with each other until we know for sure. There are many ways to tell someone that you consent. Obviously there is verbal consent – ‘do you want to keep going’ and so on. Even if you’re doing stuff online, things like emojis can be used to convey consent/interest to continue. Consent also has a nonverbal aspect though – things like body language give us signs about how comfortable someone is. If someone is avoiding eye contact, leaning away from you, going quiet, staying completely still – these are all clear signs that tell us we need to check in verbally to see if that person actually wants to continue. If we don’t get an absolute yes, then it’s a no.
What are some common sex myths?
Many people think you can't get an STI through oral sex. Incorrect! You can get an STI from unprotected anal, oral and vaginal sex. So protect yourself and your sexual partner/s by always using condoms and dams.
There are a huge amount of myths about pleasure and what people enjoy from sex. A lot of people over-sexualise men and think that they don't enjoy conversation and romance as much as women, which is just not true at all. By the same token, a lot of people think that women don't enjoy sex as much as men, which is also not true at all.
That women don't/shouldn't masturbate?! That people with disabilities or older people shouldn't/don't have sex. There are soooo so many that can be dangerous or a barrier to people having equal rights or access to healthcare. Talking about sex, relationships and sexual health can help us bust the many sex myths that are out there.
What should I do if I'm on a Tinder date that I want to end early?
You should always be able to leave a date early if you don't feel comfortable. It helps to go into a date with a plan on how you might end it - excusing yourself to the bathroom and leaving can work in some situations, or having a friend contact you and stepping outside to take the call can be a good option sometimes too. If you feel safe in doing so, you can simply tell the person you are leaving, and sometimes that is the best option even if they might get a little upset. Our tip - always tell a friend where you are going and give them a way to contact you in case you ever need some help to get out of there.
Does size really matter?
Size doesn't matter to people that matter. There are lots of way to engage in sexual activities that feel good for both partners, and this doesn't always have to involve penetration!
Should I be upset that the guy I'm kind of seeing is still sleeping with other people?
This depends entirely on what "kind of" means! Its really important to communicate about these things so that you are both clear about what the other one expects from your relationship. If it goes on and on and on and you still haven't talked about it then its easy for one of you to get hurt.
Do I have to do anal?
You don't have to do ANYTHING that makes you feel uncomfortable at ANYTIME. Your feelings and your pleasure are the most important things.
What do I do if a condom gets stuck inside me after sex?
First off, don’t panic! It’s not going to go anywhere too scary, because its not going to get past the cervix. It does need to get out of there though. The vaginal canal is usually about 10cm-12cm deep, so most of the time it should be easy enough to fish it out by yourself (or with the help of whoever got it up there). Don’t use any random implements to grab it either.
If it’s inside an anus instead, this is also fine. Try and go to the toilet for a poop and it should find it’s way out.
If in either instance you haven’t had any luck, don’t feel any shame in going to a doctor or a sexual health clinic. They’ve likely seen it before and will be able to help.
I've never had an orgasm and feel so weird about it. How can I learn to orgasm?
Practicing by yourself in private is the best way. Get to know what makes you feel good, as this can be different for everyone! And pleasure doens't always have to mean an orgasm.
Which condoms can I use if I have a latex allergy?
Most brands have latex-free condoms. Check the label and find one that is suitable for you.
What's the big deal about this WAP song?
So previously in a lot of music, women, their bodies and sex have been referred to in ways that are dehumanising, and without consent. A lot of it is about power and control.
So now we have women like Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion claiming that power back, and owning sex that is enjoyable, very consenting and arousing. There’s nothing morally wrong with any of this – in fact I’d argue its very morally right.
Sure, I’m not going to crank this at a family dinner or at a Sunday picnic, but it represents a shift away from music that positions women as passive receptors of sex.
Do I have to have sex with someone on the first date?
Definitely not! You should only have sex when YOU feel ready to - not because anybody is pressuring you to, or because there is a timeline attached to your decision. The 'right' time is different for everybody.
How do I ask for consent without it being weird?
Try saying 'How would you feel about doing this?', or 'I really want to know what you would like to do'. Consent doesn't need to be awkward, is shows your really care about your partner/s and want to make sure they are having a good time.
I had a dream about having sex with another woman. Am I gay or bisexual?
Maybe, but maybe not also. A lot of people who identify as straight will have moments of curiosity. What really matters is if its important to you to figure it out. A really good way to work out if a label sticks with you is to talk to a few close friends about it and see how it feels to you to be recognised that way - you don't have to rush figuring this stuff out.
Lots of my friends are having unprotected sex and avoiding getting pregnant through tracking their cycle through apps. How safe is this method?
Fertility apps shouldn't be relied upon to prevent pregnancy. Their success rates are quite low compared to using long acting reversible contraception options such as intrauterine devices and Implanons (over 99% effectiveness). Have a chat with SHQ about your options!
I'm not as horny as my partner. Is there something wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you at all! All of us experience arousal differently, and when it comes to the sexual response cycle men and women experience it differently. Many people have vastly different sex drives and still have healthy, satisfying relationships.
Can I ask the guy I'm seeing to shave his beard?
Well, sure! And he can ask you to cut your hair into a mullet – both of you are able to decline the request though, because we all have control over our bodies and how we look.
If you have a reason for wanting him to shave the beard, you can let him know. Maybe you don’t like the beard when you kiss him, or maybe he stores food in it and you find it gross. End of the day, the choice is up to him.
How do I come out to my friends? What if they don't want to hang out with me anymore?
At your own pace! You also don’t have to tell every friend at the same time, so you can take it slowly. Consider their current level of acceptance – do any of them already have LGBTQIA+ friends? Have they said things that make you think they’ll be cool with it? You can tell them face to face if you feel most comfortable, or online – however you think it will feel easiest.
If they respond poorly or don’t want to spend time with you, it’s their loss. There are millions of people in the world that will be your friend who accept all of who you are.
Contact Us
Student Assist is the free support and advocacy service of the Curtin Student Guild.
Our officers are unbiased, confidential, and—most importantly— run by the Guild, therefore completely independent of Curtin University
Please include your name, student number, course of study and a description of your query.
Email: student.assist@guild.curtin.edu.au
Phone: (08) 9266 2900
Free call: 1800 063 865
Building 106F, Curtin University
Monday to Friday, 9am - 4pm
Students at the Kalgoorlie WASM campus are welcome to contact us.